The 4 F’s of Trauma

Understanding Trauma Responses

Trauma is an emotional response to a deeply disturbing event that leads to overwhelming feelings, including hopelessness and loss. Some examples of traumatic events include natural disasters, physical or emotional violence, and not having basic needs met. 

Traumatic events and post-traumatic symptoms are both painful and deeply personal. Common psychological symptoms can include feelings of sadness, anger, and shame–but these symptoms can also manifest physiologically, such as through trouble with sleep and appetite irregularity. The ways in which post-traumatic symptoms can present are very complex and open to interpretation by the person experiencing them. 

The Four F’s

Trauma triggers our bodies to enter survival mode. As our brains attempt to protect us from real or perceived dangers, our adrenaline levels increase and our senses heighten. We can categorize these survival mechanisms into four categories: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Identifying our psychological and physiological responses to triggers and trauma can often be challenging. Having the language to describe our experience can help. 

While trauma can present in various ways, fight and flight are the most recognized. Fight responses can present as getting angry, raising our voices, and physically acting out. As a trauma response, it can also present as controlling behavior or holding unrealistic expectations of others. Flight responses, in contrast, are more avoidant. Avoiding confrontation, cutting off relationships, leaving an area, or isolating are common in flight mode.

There is less conversation around the freeze and fawn responses. Identifying these can be complex because they’re often misinterpreted as personality traits that are socially acceptable or even admirable.

The freeze response results in feeling stuck or unable to take action in the face of trauma and can be experienced as feeling heavy or dissociating. Triggers may seem inescapable, making us feel the need to “disappear.”

At its core, fawning involves people-pleasing to avoid confrontation. On the surface, it may be easy to confuse this response with having a nurturing personality. However, fawning can lead to patterns of extreme self-sacrifice to comfort others. Those who tend toward this trauma response can feel like they lack a unique identity, experience self-directed anger and guilt, and have difficulty with boundaries. 

Reflecting on Our Trauma

The four F’s of trauma can start presenting in childhood, often as part of interactions in the home, when we are often invalidated or ostracized for our behaviors. Part of our healing can involve validating our childhood needs and those of the children around us. By identifying the underlying purpose of our individual trauma responses, we can better understand our triggers, our behaviors, and how to guide the healing process.

Reflecting on these four F’s can also help us empathize with ourselves and others facing similar struggles. Working with a mental health professional can be beneficial, but it can be financially inaccessible and may not be the right path for everyone. But by finding our healing paths, we can move towards destigmatizing our experiences with and reactions to trauma–– and therefore find ways for ourselves and our communities to thrive.